So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
