I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
