you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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