Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize