I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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