I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
