stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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