Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
