im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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