I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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