i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
