Non-Jews are for practice
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
