Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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