I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
