i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
