apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
