Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
