i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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