OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
