I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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