yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
