I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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