wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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