ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
