i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
