i don't plan on having that self control this summer
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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