4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
