Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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