Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
