my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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