Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize