Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
