well I can't set my house on fire every night
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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