one might say we're banned from that church
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
