Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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