I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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