Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize