If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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