It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
