Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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