Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just want to make out with him forever
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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