this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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