Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
