they said they heard you say put it in my butt
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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