I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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