If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh god it's open bar.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize