hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
