All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
