Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this will be a night to untag.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
