Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i dont even know how to be here
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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