she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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