you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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