never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
