ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize