She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
