we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
