u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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