This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
