He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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