If i come over, it means nothing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
