it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
