I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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