I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
