Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
