peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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