sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
