if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
