U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
