Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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