another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
